CO-PARENTING - DOING THE BEST WE CAN

Times are changing, as they rightly should. In this modern world of today, more and more marriages are breaking. People realise that it is better to choose your happiness than stay stuck in an environment which drains the very person you are. While, this is good for the individuals who belong in that said marriage, it isn’t always a very smooth journey for their offspring. This brings us to an extremely relevant topic of today – Co-Parenting !

Being a single mother myself, I had never imagined that there would come a day where I will have to think about raising my child alone, all the while making him maintain his bond with his father. Being a single mom can never be easy. There are days I find myself doubting every act I perform as a mother, always questioning myself whether I am doing enough for my kid, or how to navigate parenting with his father, who is no longer an active part of our day to day life.

Co-parenting can be challenging, but with effective communication, mutual respect, and a focus on the well-being of the child, it is possible to create a positive and cooperative co-parenting relationship.

It hasn’t been very long for me since I took on this journey of co-parenting, but there are things I have learned or perhaps still learning along the way.

Effective communication between parents

No matter what your differences might have been which caused the marriage to break, communicating with respect and being cordial are the cornerstones of successful co-parenting. You can establish a clear and reliable method of communication with your co-parent, one that you both are comfortable with. This could be regular check – ins, emails, or even a shared calendar to keep each other informed about the child’s schedules and important events.

Consistency

Consistency is another extremely important facet of co-parenting. Strive for consistency in rules and routines between households. Children benefit from having a sense of stability, so try to align on key aspects such as bedtime, homework, and discipline. Consistency helps children feel secure and reduces confusion.

Planning responsibilities

Parents can also benefit by making a comprehensive co-parenting plan that outlines parenting responsibilities, schedules and important decisions. It is extremely important to understand the magnitude of all these things on a young impressionable child.

Flexibility

Having said the above, flexibility is as important as making plans ahead for yourself and your child. Life is unpredictable, and one cannot stick to a written mandate at all times. One should be open to making adjustments whenever necessary and be respectful and understanding about it. At the end of the day, it is the child that matters above everything else, so a bit of compromise here and there might go a long way. But making compromises does not mean that you start taking your co-parent for granted. Respect the boundaries of your co-parent at all times. Recognize that each parent has a unique parenting style, and finding common ground is essential.

Celebrating together

Celebrating milestones together can be a great thing for your child. Whenever possible, share in celebrating important milestones and achievements in your children's lives. Whether it's a school play, a sports event, or a graduation, demonstrating joint support reinforces the idea that both parents are actively involved in their lives.

In the end, I would like to conclude by saying that co-parenting can be emotionally demanding, so it's essential to prioritize self-care. Maintain a healthy work-life balance, engage in activities that bring you joy, and if need be, seek support from friends, family, or a support group. Remember that successful co-parenting requires ongoing effort, patience, and a commitment to the well-being of the child. By fostering a cooperative and respectful relationship with your co-parent, you create a more stable and nurturing environment for your children to thrive. 

So happy co-parenting my fellow parents. May we all continue to do the best for our kids.